April 19th, 2007

Won’t somebody think of the children?

lovejoy.jpgWe all love to laugh at Reverend Lovejoy’s hysterical wife as she incoherently begs us to think of the children whenever something scary (aka unknown to her) presents itself. Well, who knew that the Utah legislature is chock full of such ninnies, luddites, and fear mongering nabobs.

Cheryl Preston, a law professor at Brigham Young University, wants to ban open wifi networks, on the off chance that teenagers might be driving around looking for places to download their pr0n (away from mother and father and all their uber-effective pr0n catching nannyware on the home network, I guess). Nevermind what the loss of open wifi networks would do to the coffee shops, the downtown alliance, and the general good vibe we have as a tourist-friendly resort town that comes with having free and open wifi scattered around town thanks to the good souls at XMission. PeteĀ  Ashdown, owner of XMission and former candidate for the US Senate, was even on the radio today denouncing this idiotic proposal, to which a supporting legislator defended the concept by equating open networks to ‘unfenced backyard pools’. I see– so the entire body of American self reliance, free choice, not to mention the illegality of trespassing should be thrown out the window for the sake of having the State step in to keep those rascally kids outta the pool.

There is no surer sign of a weak mind than hiding behind the children and the faceless threat of pornography.

In the end, these idiots are attempting to foist off responsibility for their children on to the State, because they obviously cannot teach their teens how to cope with online pr0n as responsible parents. That’s right, Cheryl– leave the raising of your children to the government! Let The State bring them up strong and true! You stupid fascist.

April 4th, 2007

WhiskeyMilitia.com

wm_logo.gifWe launched a new website today, whiskeymilitia.com and it looks like it’s gonna be a winner. I knew we were onto something when I tried to register the security certificates for the encrypted shopping cart, and the submission was flagged for “review”. I am not sure if it was the word Whiskey (which the ATF probably doesn’t like) or Militia, which the Department of Milk and Cookies probably doesn’t dig. My hunch was confirmed when another backcountry executive was talking with someone in the Intarweb business, and was told that the domain ‘breaks every rule about good domains.’
So, what’s the deal with the site? One shit-hot deal at a time for all you skate rats and surf punks. Sold out? Cry about it until midnite, and try again. Good luck with your credit rating!